69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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