i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
