Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
