Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I still have a little drunk in my system
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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