She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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