I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I had to cum in my sink.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize