meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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