areolas are like halos for boobs.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
