yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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