dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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