He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
