PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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