I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
