Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
