My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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