I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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