Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
