He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
