My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
