The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Do vagina's smell?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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