all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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