When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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