my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
