i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
