There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
