STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize