just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
