So drunk its hurt
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize