I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
