But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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