Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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