I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
