I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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