17 year olds will be the death of me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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