What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
