If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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