Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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