yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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