Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
