so that wasnt chicken after all
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi†so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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