Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize