Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
