please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Its about making memories worth repressing
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize