Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
