The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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