You're a womanizer and a bitch.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think your dad took our porno
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
