you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
