WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
