Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
