Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
