She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
