I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
