If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
