as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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