Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
