Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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