I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
