I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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