Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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