Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
