You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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