If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
