Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Randomize
