i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize