You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
this boner is exhausting
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize