you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think I am morally bankrupt
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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