I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
