I just pynch a tree in the face
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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