Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
