You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
