why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
