He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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