My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
