what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
