Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
