mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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