Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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